There is a subspecies of bald eagles that shoots 50 caliber rounds out of its asshole at 3000 ft/sec. This subspecies was the inspiration for the Gatling gun, and subsequently, the machine gun.
They are a fierce predator. They attack by flying through the sky and turning their body so that their ass faces their prey. As they pump the molten lead out of their feathery assholes, a majestic battle cry erupts from their beak. This battle cry is none other than the Star Spangled Banner. As a result of this occurrence, scientists have nicknamed the bird Uncle Sam.
Upon seeing this vicious creature, terrorists have been known to spontaneously shit themselves out of sheer terror. This phenomenon is known as the Uncle Sam Effect. The birds frequently follow the travel patterns of desert thunderstorms in the Middle East and are thus the origin of the word, "shit-storm."
There is no doubt that Uncle Sam is the ultimate predator.
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